I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
