If i come over, it means nothing
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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