tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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