Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
