I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
