he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
