Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
