i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
