I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
