Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
