Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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