I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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