Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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