dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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