He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
