It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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