she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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