There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
