they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
