I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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