literally had 100 drinks last night.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize