If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
