so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
How does it feel to date your dad?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
