I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
