I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
