talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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