Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize