And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
