dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
