Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
