i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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