so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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