Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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