Where is the hickey?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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