Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
