Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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