BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
foreskin is a definite game changer
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
