On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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