Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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