i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
