And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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