how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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