nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
