so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
