I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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