I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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