We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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