he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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