well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't deserve a penis
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
