it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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