The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
