um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
