im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i need some magic done to my vagina
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
